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As odd as it may seem I enjoy cooking, but for some of my fellow computer geeks such task is deemed impossible or unmanly. Coming from a family of seven that is six males and one female, it would seem that we would have to rely on our mother to prepare our meals. But we got hungry, and later discovered we were better cooks then the queen of our hearts--our mother. Although my mom has been known to make fantastic pancakes, it seems her skills of cooking have been surpassed by my father's.

With that history said lets begin! To make a computer geek, or the rest of you hungry disfunctional cooks, some breakfast.

Step 1

Although it might seem easier to get a Meatnormous Omelet sandwich from Burger King, one might not want to rely on fast food places for a meal because they eventually kick your ass. In addition, they hurt the wallet and face it guys... women love guys who can cook.

Preparing before you cook is vital.

with out doing so you run the risk of burning your food. It's like going on vacation and packing thirty minutes before your plane leaves. Don't Do It!

Things you need

*Eggs(1 for each sandwich)
*Salt and Pepper
*Sour scream
*Sandwich bread
Cheese

Weapons

Spatula
Frying pan/Skillet
Towels(hopefully just one)
Plate(to prepare egg sandwiches on and not be so messy)

Step 2

Turn it up! Now that we have prepared our equipment and food we are ready to start! Start by turning the stove up a notch!(love you Emeril). Set it on medium heat. Now you want to put a little bit of Vegetable oil in so things don't stick. Let the pan/skillet heat for about three minutes. Step 2 is now complete.

Step 3

Breaking an egg is the most difficult task of cooking these sandwiches, but not to worry I'm here to guide you.

Hold an egg in your hand and swing it just a little against the side of a bowl. This creates a crack in the egg and is going to be your opening to pour things out of. Now place the egg over the skillet but not too close to where you burn your fingers with hot oil. Place both thumbs in the crevasse of the egg. Now bush down and open egg while pulling away both hands and letting the egg pour out of the egg shell.

A good technique to use would be to pour it slowly that way you don't break the yoke and don't splash the egg everywhere. If you have done it correct it should look similar to mine. If not, that's ok just scoop most of it together using your spatula, and try it again on the next sandwich this time with more control. I don't really like salt or pepper on my eggs but if you want some spices this would be a good time to sprinkle some on. Good job the egg is getting happy.

Step 4

Ok does it look done on one side? Well maybe it is... how can you be sure? Well if you flip a corner and its some what yellow-ish brown, or if you simply wait about three mintues the first side should be done.

Ready to flip? Lets go! Using the spatula, start at a corner and scoop the egg on to the spatula.

If at first you don't succeed, stop trying you idiot!. Just kidding, try again.

Now rotate the spatula 180 degrees to your left if you are right handed and to the right if your left handed.

Put some salt and pepper on this side if you want, and let it sit for another three mintues and it should be done.

Step 5

Done Sandwich Now it should be crisp on bottom and on top with maybe a little golden glaze (maybe). You have now made an egg. Nice job. Take the egg out of the hot pan and place it on a dish. Put some bread in the toaster for about 1 minute depending on how black you want it. Smear some sour scream on both pieces of bread. Place a Kraft's Singles American cheese on top of the sour scream piece of bread #1. Then place the egg on top of the cheese and finish topping it with the #2 piece of bread.

Happy Wife! Im so proud of you! You've completed how to cook for computer geeks Lesson 1: Making an egg sandwich. Now it's time to enjoy your creation or feed a hungry wife (or girlfriend ... or maybe even mother).

Its amazing how much money you can save if you cook for yourself and how many chicks will be calling you in a week if you keep it up and spread the word that you can cook.

Tune in next time for Lesson 2: How to make mexiCANT food.

August 5, 2006 2:02PM

Transformers

Based on the popular toys that transform from machines into giant robots, this live-action movie from Pearl Harbor director Michael Bay finds the planet Cybertron inhabitants engaging in a secret war for control of Earth's natural resources, which they desperately need for fuel. Able to disguise themselves as cars, airplanes, boats and more, the transformers prove a tough enemy in this film starring Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel and Jon Voight.

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Things you need

Weapons